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You know what roses mean. But did you know your choice of color can make or break someone's Valentine's Day? And beware of other blossoms — they can say volumes. 


BY INGER LUND 

The custom of exchanging flowers may have less to do with romance and chivalry than with anxiety. For the shy or uncertain, handing over a bouquet is often the easiest way to express sentiment.

Ancient myths, biblical stories, and fables all assigned meaning to flowers. In the early 1700's Charles II of Sweden introduced a new language to Europe when he brought the Persian poetical art called "the language of flowers" to the west. Floral lexicons were published throughout the 18th century, allowing secrets to be exchanged with a lily or lilac, and an entire conversation to take place in a bouquet. It seems the more popular the flower, the more superstitions and meanings have been associated with it. The rose carries the most baggage by far.

One may say we've progressed from Victorian days -- e-mail allows you to woo another across the globe as easily as across the room. But in another sense, we may have lost ground. The only flower that has a universally understood meaning these days is the rose. Communication may have expanded globally, but the undiversified flower-giving on Valentine's Day has reduced the language of flowers to a monosyllabic grunt.

So if you want to let someone know how you feel this Valentine's Day, exercise your freedom of expression by choosing from a wide array of meaningful blossoms. Let's face it: Flowers are a lot more subtle than the Notify box on your e-mail, and they look much nicer on the nightstand. 
 
The Rose : Myths & Meanings
 

Roses are among the oldest of cultivated flowers, with the first known to have grown in Asian gardens 5,000 years ago. In its untamed form the flower goes back even further; fossils of wild roses date back 35 million years. This February 14 alone, 1-800-Flowers expects to sell at least 3 million roses. It seems the appeal of the rose has stood the test of time.

The ancients explained the beauty of the rose through myths of godly creation. The Greek goddess Chloris stumbled upon a beautiful dead nymph and turned her into a flower; Aphrodite added beauty; the three graces added brilliance, joy, and charm. Dionysious donated fragrant nectar, while Zephyrus the west wind blew away the clouds so Apollo could shower the rose in sun. The flower was then given to Eros, the deity of love, and named the "Queen of Flowers."

The Romans had their own ideas on the rose's origin. According to their legend, many suitors were lined up to marry a beautiful woman named Rodanthe, but she had little interest in any of them. These men were so full of love and desire that they became rowdy and eventually broke down the doors to her house. This episode angered the goddess Diana, who turned the woman into a flower and her suitors into thorns to teach them a lesson.

Whatever its origin, the rose is undeniably the best-known symbol of beauty and love. It is common knowledge that red roses mean I love you. A dozen of them makes the ultimate statement on Valentine's Day, a tradition surely developed by those who measure value by quantity rather than quality.

Lesser-known nuances of meaning are attached to different colors and types of roses. If you're going to jump on the bandwagon and shell out the cash for your valentine, you'd better get the definitions straight. Red and white together mean unity, pink means grace and gentility, and yellow symbolizes joy. If you want to stir things up on February 14, send orange or coral roses to speak your desire. Burgundy will compliment your sweetheart's unconscious beauty (great to accompany a glass of red wine, not several bottles). Sweetheart roses are for couples who like nicknames, as they mean darling, dear, or honey, but if you call each other "babycakes," they should still do the trick. A single rose signifies simplicity, a nice statement to make if your pockets are empty. And don't confuse white roses with white rosebuds; the first means you're heavenly, while the second warns that you're too young for love.
 
Alternative flowers…Alternative meanings….
 
If you want to stray from tradition, or if "I love you" is not what comes to mind when thinking of your valentine, maybe you want something other than the rose. 

There's a slew of nice things to say with other flowers, and they're just as nice to receive. Several flowers pose as rose impostors: red chrysanthemums, tulips, and carnations still say I love you. The daisy will compliment your valentine's beauty, while the elegant cala lily tops that by celebrating your lover's splendid beauty. You can only send a lilac once since it goes to your first love. Gardenia is for the scared or the shy, since it expresses secret untold love. Violets express your affection. Mild or deep-rooted? The floral lexicon doesn't specify! 

Some not-so-nice sentiments require a feistier petal, great for couples on the rocks. Mock her vanity by giving narcissus, the flower of self-love. Let him have it with a petunia, which expresses anger and resentment. It's okay when your valentine flirts with you, but when it's with another, give a dandelion picked from the sidewalk. Make sure your marigold is where your mouth is — the large-flowered signify jealousy, while the small-flowered encourages your loved one to never despair. How can the sunflower, so beautiful, be so mean-spirited? Perhaps too much beauty brings on haughtiness and even false appearances. A striped carnation is flat-out refusal, but if that's the case, why send flowers at all? 

There are flowers for more unusual tastes if that didn't cover it. For the hard-shell, soft-inside types, the cactus gives the surface impression of intimidation, but sends a deeper message of warmth. Give some wisteria to the suave gentleman you meet on the street to say welcome, fair stranger. For a mama's boy or girl, moss is a charming expression of maternal love. She'll love it, she has to — she's your mother.

Show off your new flower vocabulary, but remember that knowledge is a double-edged sword. You are now equipped with the tools to decipher what your date really thinks of you. For instance, if you receive no flowers but are invited for a pasta dinner, you may be in trouble. Beware of pesto: basil, the cruelest of all flower words, means hatred.